My meditation today: 11 am (40 minutes)
Yesterday: 3 pm (40 minutes)

I am not doing so great right now. There is a knot in my abdomen and I feel like crying all the time. Something wants to come out of my system but cannot. I have had this feeling for a long time.

I just want peace! Nothing else!!! I am willing and ready to give up on everything!!!! 

I received my astrological chart yesterday and in it, I found a mind blowing piece of information:

The Moon's South Node falls in the Tenth House of your

chart. This implies that previous to this lifetime you were often a "pillar of your community."

That is, you were a figure of authority and substance, often setting the tone for the cultural process around you. Trouble is, even though there's nothing inherently wrong with wielding power, you did get attached to it... not so much in the sense of blind, unscrupulous ambition as in a difficulty imagining yourself stripped of a meaningful, stabilizing social role.

In this lifetime, with your North Node of the Moon in the Fourth House, you must act to counterbalance some of that focus on your role in society... not so much because it's "wrong" as because you've already learned everything you can from it. 

The time has come for you to concentrate on your interior life, both psychologically and spiritually. And one of the most effective ways you can accomplish that is to establish a "nest" with a mate, perhaps with children. That path will ultimately reveal more to you this time around than having your face on the cover of Newsweek.

Yes indeed - I want a nest! But with whom? The one I had a nest with, left me, heartbroken and devastated. And now I am completely lost!

I am so relieved to hear that I can put down my weapons and let go of the need for fame. I know this is what my poor soul wants. And I am going to give it to her. 

So help me the Good Universe!