My meditation today: 12 am (40 minutes), 8 pm (2x15 guided meditations by Sarah).
I have felt very restless today but not in a bad sense. I have been studying lesson 6 and also listening to Chopra´s Synchrodestiny audio which I find very insightful.
Yesterday I had an insight of forgiveness. I realized that often times it is ourselves that we need to forgive first. I have struggled to forgive to my husband and his girlfriend but something Chopra said in the tape made me think again. I realized that I cannot really blame anybody else of what happened. What happened happened, and it was my reaction to it that made it painful. During the difficult time when we lived together even though he was seeing someone else, I totally neglected my own emotional needs. I did not listen to my soul. I should have stopped the madness to save myself but did not. I tried but not hard enough.
It is this I need to forgive. I was horrible to myself. My husband did not know any better but I did. I always knew.
This idea helped me greatly. I feel somehow more free now.
What I am wondering, though, is why I keep having the odd feeling of not accomplishing enough all the time. Today, I have not lazied around at all. I have studied, written, meditated, walked the dog, shopped groceries, washed laundry. cooked and kept company to my son. I have coached a friend of mine and I have done thinking. And yet I feel I have not done anything.
Last night I listened to Neville Goddard on self-talk, how we constantly tell negative stories in our minds and keep ourselves on wrong tracks. And then we wonder why nothing ever changes and we don´t get what we want. I am trying to change the pattern and think differently but it is hard. I seem to fall into the trap of diminishing myself and under-estimating my options.
So there is a lot of work to be done. I must remember my affirmations and say them whenever negative ideas come to my head.
"I am a powerful co-creator and enjoy the process of creation. I love to wake up into a new morning and exploit the endless possibilities that every day has in stock for me. I know that I am enveloped in love and protected from evil. I am safe. Life loves me and I love life."
I have felt very restless today but not in a bad sense. I have been studying lesson 6 and also listening to Chopra´s Synchrodestiny audio which I find very insightful.
Yesterday I had an insight of forgiveness. I realized that often times it is ourselves that we need to forgive first. I have struggled to forgive to my husband and his girlfriend but something Chopra said in the tape made me think again. I realized that I cannot really blame anybody else of what happened. What happened happened, and it was my reaction to it that made it painful. During the difficult time when we lived together even though he was seeing someone else, I totally neglected my own emotional needs. I did not listen to my soul. I should have stopped the madness to save myself but did not. I tried but not hard enough.
It is this I need to forgive. I was horrible to myself. My husband did not know any better but I did. I always knew.
This idea helped me greatly. I feel somehow more free now.
What I am wondering, though, is why I keep having the odd feeling of not accomplishing enough all the time. Today, I have not lazied around at all. I have studied, written, meditated, walked the dog, shopped groceries, washed laundry. cooked and kept company to my son. I have coached a friend of mine and I have done thinking. And yet I feel I have not done anything.
Last night I listened to Neville Goddard on self-talk, how we constantly tell negative stories in our minds and keep ourselves on wrong tracks. And then we wonder why nothing ever changes and we don´t get what we want. I am trying to change the pattern and think differently but it is hard. I seem to fall into the trap of diminishing myself and under-estimating my options.
So there is a lot of work to be done. I must remember my affirmations and say them whenever negative ideas come to my head.
"I am a powerful co-creator and enjoy the process of creation. I love to wake up into a new morning and exploit the endless possibilities that every day has in stock for me. I know that I am enveloped in love and protected from evil. I am safe. Life loves me and I love life."
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