My meditation today: 8 am (30 minutes mantra hum sah)
7 pm (30 minutes mantra hum sah)

I am experiencing something quite extraordinary!

Last evening was a very good evening. I studied and chanted and meditated and had two long walks with my dog. I subscribed to Deepak Chopra´s 

After subscribing, I received this message:

Tomorrow you will receive Week 1 of the Discover Your Passion & Purpose series. Tonight we encourage you to take some time to let your mind become quiet and receptive, whether by meditating, walking in nature, or engaging in some other practice that centers you in peace. In this space of inner calm, take a few minutes to set an intention for your experience in the next three weeks of the Passion and Purpose series – and write it down. When you plant your seeds of intention in the fertile field of all possibilities, you harness the infinite organizing power of the universe to manifest your dreams and desires. 

I went for a quiet walk with my dog and meditated my intentions:

1. Re-connecting with my soulmate
2. Finding my mission in life

I came home and checked the MMI-site. Christine had posted a chapter from The Course Of Miracles that ended with these words:

Have no fear that the attraction of those who stand on the other side and wait for you will not draw you safely across. For you 
will come where you would be and where your Self awaits you.

These words spoke to me like they had pierced straight to my heart. I started to visualize my soulmate standing on the other side and reaching out for me. It was such a vitalizing idea! It made me happy.

Before I went to bed I read a chapter for the Lesson 7 of Susan´s book. She described how she had met her husband. I thought it was an amazing synchronicity! I realized that only when I love myself, totally and unconditionally, can I truly love anyone else. I understood that while I have made great progress, I am not yet ready for love because I am not yet the person who I want to manifest. 

Because: you attract what you are.

I slept well, took the dog out and meditated with the hum sah-mantra. There was some resistance - I do not feel entirely comfortable with the mantra meditations. But I take this as a sign that I need to do it more and maintain the beginners´ mind.  

I read our course manual and found it astonishing that I really do seem to go through strange purification processes. For instance, I have had a stiff neck for some days now and I haven´t had that for years, not since I was a young student. I am also on an emotional turbulance. It is like I feel all the emotions more strongly which is not entirely pleasant.

I took a hot bath to calm my mind and there started to think whether I should take my kids for a little holiday for Easter. I was thinking Portugal as me and my older son have had a vision of going there in the summer. But then I thought it is probably too much money right now and I started thinking of Estonia.

I went online and googled with the words Beach house in Estonia. The first thing I got was a beach house in Funchal - Madeira. Which is in Portugal!!!

I clicked the link and got beautiful images of exactly the kind of place my soul yearns for! 

All this put me in such an agitated state that I needed to sit on my bed and be quiet for a while. When I watch this picture I get tears in my eyes. 

I have also been intrigued by the "Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics" -book. I realized that what I am doing (not working = earning money!) is OK. It is what I have to do. As to reaffirm this I found (=synchronicity!) a “mysticpreneur” Mary Henderson who is a transformational coach, specialized in the Law of Attraction.  On her website she tells that she was on a sabbatical for 2 years after experiencing an epiphany. 

I know now that I am on a right path. I am on sabbatical! I am a road to awakening!

And I am most definitively on a road to a beach house in Funchal, together with my family and my soulmate :)
...

I went to buy myself new glasses but got discouraged as everything was so expensive. I did some shopping with my daughter but for one reason or another started feeling anxious. I went to the Deepak Chopra “Discover your purpose”-course site and noticed that it was just a marketing ploy. I got irritated. Negative emotions took over. I meditated but felt nervous and restless all the time. I tried to do the Lesson 7 quiz but did not understand one of the questions and my irritation grew.

I do not know what is the matter. After a good day I feel negative and anxious. I am thinking maybe watching a film, to get myself into a better vibration.