My meditation today: 9:30 am (30 minutes)
I slept too late, again, and had to take the dog out before meditation. Meditation was a bit restless, lots of images and ideas dancing in my head. But all in all the sitting for half an hour has become a lot easier. There is no struggle any more.
The next challenge is to calm the mind. I have been using my name as my mantra every now and then because what I really would like to get in touch with is me.
Who am I?
I have been reading the book How God Changes Your Brain and it has been really enlightening to learn what meditation does to your brain. Wow! I managed to force my youngest (the one with the issues) to do a meditation with me and he said yes (since I really did not give him any choice!). I know you should not make anyone meditate but the thing is that I believe he is already mildly interested in it but, as a teen, cannot say so coz it would be so uncool to agree with the mom.
I will have guests for supper tonight. A friend of mine will come with her two teenage kids. Plus my two older kids. I will make Lao Larp, the national dish of Laos. It is very good plus easy to prepare.
Looking forward to cooking something special and having people over.
This will be a good day!
...
I have been doing some work = trying to get my idea popping brain in some sort of an order. After an optimistic morning I notice I have sunk into my usual state of dukkha. The Why don´t I get anything done -feeling. I see a pattern here:
I sink into a melancholia or irritation. When I reach the bottom, I start coming up, reaching a high of splendid ideas and optimism. Then after contemplating my splendid ideas for a while, they start looking less appealing and somehow just too exhausting to me. I get tired. The muchness of everything is just so overwhelming. There are too many opportunities but I do not manage to seize any of them. I am still not making any money and I still not have a viable business idea - after a whole year of not doing anything else than figuring things out.
I know: Buckminster Fuller spent more than a year after his suicide attempt doing nothing else but trying to figure things out and eventually he managed to do it. Famously so. So there is a bench mark there.
I just wish I would be able to stay present! That is the key - I know.
I received this message from Abraham via Esther this morning:
The more in vibrational sync you are with who you really are, then the more you are allowing only those things that you're wanting, and the less resistance there is. And the less resistance there is, then the less delay between the idea of the thought and the receiving of it
In sync who I really am! I know this! I am not in sync with myself coz I don´t know who I really am and before I know who I really am, there is no point in starting any projects. They just end up tiring me.
I learned this lesson today and it is a good lesson.
Now I do what Esther has advised me to do before when I feel overwhelmed: I take a piece of paper, draw a line in the middle and on the left side I write everything I must do today and on the right side everything I let the Universe do for me. And then I release the Universe´s to-do -list to the Universe and let go of it.
It has helped me before and it will help me today!
I slept too late, again, and had to take the dog out before meditation. Meditation was a bit restless, lots of images and ideas dancing in my head. But all in all the sitting for half an hour has become a lot easier. There is no struggle any more.
The next challenge is to calm the mind. I have been using my name as my mantra every now and then because what I really would like to get in touch with is me.
Who am I?
I have been reading the book How God Changes Your Brain and it has been really enlightening to learn what meditation does to your brain. Wow! I managed to force my youngest (the one with the issues) to do a meditation with me and he said yes (since I really did not give him any choice!). I know you should not make anyone meditate but the thing is that I believe he is already mildly interested in it but, as a teen, cannot say so coz it would be so uncool to agree with the mom.
I will have guests for supper tonight. A friend of mine will come with her two teenage kids. Plus my two older kids. I will make Lao Larp, the national dish of Laos. It is very good plus easy to prepare.
Looking forward to cooking something special and having people over.
This will be a good day!
...
I have been doing some work = trying to get my idea popping brain in some sort of an order. After an optimistic morning I notice I have sunk into my usual state of dukkha. The Why don´t I get anything done -feeling. I see a pattern here:
I sink into a melancholia or irritation. When I reach the bottom, I start coming up, reaching a high of splendid ideas and optimism. Then after contemplating my splendid ideas for a while, they start looking less appealing and somehow just too exhausting to me. I get tired. The muchness of everything is just so overwhelming. There are too many opportunities but I do not manage to seize any of them. I am still not making any money and I still not have a viable business idea - after a whole year of not doing anything else than figuring things out.
I know: Buckminster Fuller spent more than a year after his suicide attempt doing nothing else but trying to figure things out and eventually he managed to do it. Famously so. So there is a bench mark there.
I just wish I would be able to stay present! That is the key - I know.
I received this message from Abraham via Esther this morning:
The more in vibrational sync you are with who you really are, then the more you are allowing only those things that you're wanting, and the less resistance there is. And the less resistance there is, then the less delay between the idea of the thought and the receiving of it
In sync who I really am! I know this! I am not in sync with myself coz I don´t know who I really am and before I know who I really am, there is no point in starting any projects. They just end up tiring me.
I learned this lesson today and it is a good lesson.
Now I do what Esther has advised me to do before when I feel overwhelmed: I take a piece of paper, draw a line in the middle and on the left side I write everything I must do today and on the right side everything I let the Universe do for me. And then I release the Universe´s to-do -list to the Universe and let go of it.
It has helped me before and it will help me today!
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