My meditation today: 5 am (40 minutes)
I woke at 3 am and found it difficult to go back to sleep. I did some tapping and it calmed my mind but still, no sleep. So at around 5 I decided to do my meditation. I did it for the usual 40 minutes.
And then I fell back asleep. And slept till 9. And woke up groggy. The usual story.
I am listening to the recording of Lesson 6 Teleconference. I feel very tired and cold so I went and took a hot bath. While listening to the conference. In the bath tub I got some insights, as usual. I paused the recording and clarified my thoughts.
I feel very tired, exhausted, even. I have been wondering why. And then it occurred to me that I have been tense as a violin string for most of my adult life. What is happening now is that I am releasing the tension. It is as if I have been pulling a rope for a very long time and released it now. What happens when you release the grip of a rope someone is pulling at the other end: you collapse.
I feel like I have collapsed. I have no energy. So much so that after my meditation I do not feel energised as I should but fall asleep.
The great insight I have had recently is that life is not struggle. Life is not about fighting or pulling ropes, to see who wins. Life is about releasing, letting go, surrendering. Letting the Universe take care of your life. Life is about getting your oars up and just letting the boat float, in confidence that you will be taken to your destination whatever and wherever it may be.
I also realised (while in the bathtub!) that something has changed in my mindset. It is as if now I know I am going to a right direction. I might have moments of doubt or sense of lostness. But deep in my mind I know. I have faith. I just don’t have patience. I am like a kid, getting all excited about Christmas. She knows the Santa will come with the presents but cannot wait. Because she knows there will be great gifts for her. She believes in Santa, after all!
I am like that kid. I am also like a kid, sitting on the back seat of a car on her way to an amusement part. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? She knows she will get there and she knows what is waiting for her - she just cannot wait to get there. She has no doubts of whether the merry-go-around or the cotton-candy or the clowns will be there. She knows they will.
Somehow this thought made me feel better. I have scolded myself for not having faith. But I do have faith! It is the patience that I need.
I realise that meditation gives me more that, too!
.....
Greetings from Martha Beck:
Don’t worry about losing your way. If you do, pain will remind you to find your path again. Joy will let you know when you are back on it
I woke at 3 am and found it difficult to go back to sleep. I did some tapping and it calmed my mind but still, no sleep. So at around 5 I decided to do my meditation. I did it for the usual 40 minutes.
And then I fell back asleep. And slept till 9. And woke up groggy. The usual story.
I am listening to the recording of Lesson 6 Teleconference. I feel very tired and cold so I went and took a hot bath. While listening to the conference. In the bath tub I got some insights, as usual. I paused the recording and clarified my thoughts.
I feel very tired, exhausted, even. I have been wondering why. And then it occurred to me that I have been tense as a violin string for most of my adult life. What is happening now is that I am releasing the tension. It is as if I have been pulling a rope for a very long time and released it now. What happens when you release the grip of a rope someone is pulling at the other end: you collapse.
I feel like I have collapsed. I have no energy. So much so that after my meditation I do not feel energised as I should but fall asleep.
The great insight I have had recently is that life is not struggle. Life is not about fighting or pulling ropes, to see who wins. Life is about releasing, letting go, surrendering. Letting the Universe take care of your life. Life is about getting your oars up and just letting the boat float, in confidence that you will be taken to your destination whatever and wherever it may be.
I also realised (while in the bathtub!) that something has changed in my mindset. It is as if now I know I am going to a right direction. I might have moments of doubt or sense of lostness. But deep in my mind I know. I have faith. I just don’t have patience. I am like a kid, getting all excited about Christmas. She knows the Santa will come with the presents but cannot wait. Because she knows there will be great gifts for her. She believes in Santa, after all!
I am like that kid. I am also like a kid, sitting on the back seat of a car on her way to an amusement part. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? She knows she will get there and she knows what is waiting for her - she just cannot wait to get there. She has no doubts of whether the merry-go-around or the cotton-candy or the clowns will be there. She knows they will.
Somehow this thought made me feel better. I have scolded myself for not having faith. But I do have faith! It is the patience that I need.
I realise that meditation gives me more that, too!
.....
Greetings from Martha Beck:
Don’t worry about losing your way. If you do, pain will remind you to find your path again. Joy will let you know when you are back on it
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