My meditation today: 7 am (40 minutes)
I went to bed late last night, around 11 and woke up 5:30, which felt like too early. I tried to continue sleeping but was too anxious, almost panic-ridden. It was the usual Eliza Doolittle “what is to become of me”- feeling that I just do not seem to be able to beat. I did my meditation. It was restless and painful and I did not enjoy it. I took the dog out and came home for breakfast.
I feel disappointed that my fears and the insomnia have come back. I feel exhausted. I had to get organized to get myself and my son for the meeting at the Youth Psychiatry Centre. The idea was that me, my ex and my son plus the psychiatrist and two other staff members would have discussed my son´s situation. But he did not want to talk in front of his parents so we were divided in two groups. The psychiatrist discussed with my son and the nurse with us.
It went surprisingly well. I dread these events. I always feel fearful and nervous and I do not know why.
I am not in a very good place right now.
It is 4 pm and I try to get calm and so something.
...
I had to go and take a nap and it was lovely! Is there anything more wonderful than the feeling of falling asleep?
I am trying to get my head around my New Life Prospects. How to bury the old fears for good?
I went to bed late last night, around 11 and woke up 5:30, which felt like too early. I tried to continue sleeping but was too anxious, almost panic-ridden. It was the usual Eliza Doolittle “what is to become of me”- feeling that I just do not seem to be able to beat. I did my meditation. It was restless and painful and I did not enjoy it. I took the dog out and came home for breakfast.
I feel disappointed that my fears and the insomnia have come back. I feel exhausted. I had to get organized to get myself and my son for the meeting at the Youth Psychiatry Centre. The idea was that me, my ex and my son plus the psychiatrist and two other staff members would have discussed my son´s situation. But he did not want to talk in front of his parents so we were divided in two groups. The psychiatrist discussed with my son and the nurse with us.
It went surprisingly well. I dread these events. I always feel fearful and nervous and I do not know why.
I am not in a very good place right now.
It is 4 pm and I try to get calm and so something.
...
I had to go and take a nap and it was lovely! Is there anything more wonderful than the feeling of falling asleep?
I am trying to get my head around my New Life Prospects. How to bury the old fears for good?
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