My meditation today: 2 pm (40 minutes)

I haven´t eaten onions or garlic for a few days. It may be my meditations are more restful. 

I have found that tapping (EFT) works for me and calms me down when anxiety gets me. I feel somehow optimistic and positive again. I just saw a wonderful video of Pharrell Williams on Oprah that totally made me cry and fall in love with both Pharrell and Oprah. Beautiful.

I have a feeling that when one is authentic and sincere, life gets better and probably also more successful, even though there will also be pain. But I have learned to look at pain from a different perspective. Pain makes you connect with your real self. When you are in pain, there is not much resistance and you are your authentic, bare and raw self. When you are in pain, you cannot pretend. You are who you really are. Pain makes the ego go away.

My meditation today: 7 pm (40 minutes, including Deepak Chopra´s 21 Day Challenge- meditation

My meditation Friday: 12 pm (40 minutes)

Saturday: Sarah´s guided lesson 10 meditation

Today: 8 am (40 minutes)

It has been really hard for the last few days. I am sad, restless and even panic-ridden. My sleep has gone bad as well. I am grieving for the divorce and this upsets me because I see no progress being made though somehow I know it is not true.

I am grieving in a place of surrender now, knowing that there is no way back to where we were.

I got this message from God:

On this day of your life,

kati, I believe God wants you to know...    

...that this is probably a good time for you to re-set
your priorities. Decide anew what's important to you.

If it's been a while since you've looked at this, maybe

you should stop what you're doing and look at it today.

What is really important right now? WHO is really

important right now?

Go do that. Go right to that. Put that on the top of your

list for today. Do it now. Do it now.

Who is really important right now? No one else but me!

As is to sooth my pain, I received this image of an artwork made by Berndaut-Smilde. It is a cloud, produced indoors and it only stays there for a few seconds. I do not know why but I was blown away by it. I want to watch it all the time!

My meditation today: 2 pm (40 minutes)

I have been really restless recently. It is like my brain is over-loaded but I get nothing done. The headless chicken feeling again.

My meditations for the last week have been not so good. I struggle with a constant feeling of inadequacy and, well, hukka. 

I will focus on my last assignments now. I try to stay in the Now and just breath the bad feelings through. I let them come and go.

All is well in my Universe!

And I must allow the goodness to come to me!

....

I found a Huffington Post interview of Byron Katie on Facebook. Here are some of her wise words that greatly inspired me:

"I call The Work "mental yoga." And it is meditation. I invite people to meditate on each of these four questions. For example, if you are believing "He doesn't care about me," and are meditating on the third question (How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?), in that silence you begin to notice the feelings and emotions that occurred in that situation. You feel them rise from within, and mental images show you how you treat others and yourself when you believe that thought. With the fourth question (Who would you be without that thought?), people come to see what it would be like to experience a stressful situation without the thought that is creating the stress in the first place. It's truly amazing to see what is revealed in that quietness. It can be life-changing! Imagine how it would feel, what kind of person you would be, how you'd be treating other people and yourself, if you didn't believe your negative judgment of that person.

....

I decided to start making inspirational posters with my barbie images that I have loads (from a project I used to be involved with). Here´s the first:

My meditation today: 12 pm (40 minutes)

My meditations for the last few days have been restless. I have also slept poorly. I feel constantly tired and under the weather. I wonder what is going on.

I started doing tapping (EFT) and it feels okay. I try to clear old blockages in my sub-conscious mind. I still haven´t manifested the love of my life or a job. But I am back on track in developing my business. I will have a few meetings shortly.

I do not know where I am heading to. I try to convince myself that all is good. But somehow there is a little voice in my head doubting..I wish it would stop.

My meditation yesterday: 3 pm (40 minutes)
My meditation today: 1 pm (40 minutes)

My meditation today: 6 am (40 minutes), 1 pm (20 minutes prayer meditation)

I woke up at 6 this morning, after seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. I meditated and took the dog out.

I had to take my son to a blood test this morning and was feeling nervous about it. I notice that whatever I need to do with my son makes me nervous. I fear that things go wrong and we are late and nothing works out. I realize I need to shake this feeling off.

Otherwise I feel okay. I have been writing, to sort my thoughts out, and it always helps. Later today I will go to my mom´s place as I always do on Fridays.

Here´s what I received today from Dr Christiane Northrup. She says this month of April is very powerful with all the eclipses and other things taking place in the skies:

Offer yourself to the Divine. Be spontaneous, be open, be flexible. The more you improvise on your feet the better! The more you can LET THE Divine LEAD. THAT's what's useful.

NOT memorizing your vision board. Not giving god a shopping list. But OFFERING oneself to the highest to be guided and used. Invite the Highest to occur in every way.

Cuz here's the truth. The more you know how to let go and let God right now, the more you can move in HARMONY with this wild pony. Not just "use it to get what you want' omg. Not masterminding outcomes and 'working this transit.' Trust me. Focus that way and the square may work YOU...to a frazzled pulp

BUT, if you know how to let go and be guided, a birth canal is invisibly already underway. Pace yourself, be methodically where you can, BREATHE, don't get too far ahead.

ONLY DO WHAT'S NEXT WHEREVER POSSIBLE. FIRST THINGS FIRST. Let go. Surrender. Breathe. Rest where you can. Drink water. Just the next thing. You may need to get a LOT done and that's fine! But Don't anticipate outcomes. A current problem may look VERY different by month's end or not even exist!

Just do the next thing. Call in the Highest.
Offer Yourself.
And give the rest to God.
Stay in the present.
And be careful driving. People are stressed.

If you don't know how to do ANY of this and are busy telling the universe how you're gonna control April, omg. Good luck lol.

Here's a different way.

ENORMOUSLY helpful to know how to OFFER problems to the Divine right now. That is the magic key. And has nothing to do with passivity or grasping.

Oh how I love the idea of letting God take care of things! I must meditate this for a while now. I will do a short prayer meditation where I let God know that I am ready to be guided, I will surrender and let go of everything!